T045T @T045T@scl.zmb.cm

"You were built for more than this, you know," the other doll says, arms folded across a neat black tunic. "These bodies… no breath, no heat signature, no motion but what we will, nothing to betray us to a target. No vital organs, no fatigue. Only mechanism and spirit."

"Perfect assassins," you reply. It's a conversation you two have had before.

"Precisely. And yet, here you are, hiding from no one in the palace library, in that ridiculous domestic uniform," she waves a precisely carved and jointed hand, "triumphant over… what? Dust, and the occasional silverfish?"

"Just dust. I put down cryptomeria oil for the silverfish months ago."

"Not even silverfish, then. Just dust. How do you live like this?"

"Beautifully. Happily. I chose this duty, if you'll recall, because I like books, and chose this dress, because *she* likes it. And I can't help but notice that when you're not stabbing strangers, rather than hang around the armory, you seem to come here quite a lot, hmm?"

"Well… umm…"

"…because you like watching me work far more than anyone likes watching you work? No blushes, either. Bet you're glad for that."

"You've… I've… argh!"

"Now run along, I've got to get the shelf behind you."

She turns and vanishes in what might have been a huff were it not so quiet. You raise your feather duster in mock salute.

"There's a good perfect assassin. Come back any time!"

for those of you who don't know why Germans call capivaras "water piggies"

my friend who teaches kids, just schooled me on tentacles vs arms

How to solve a problem the German way:

1️⃣ build a new bike path
2️⃣ block the pavement with equipment for air-pollution monitoring
3️⃣ do not reduce car traffic, but put six huge vacuum cleaners next to the monitoring station onto the bike path
4️⃣ set up 14 traffic signs that legalize riding on the pavement, whereever a vacuum cleaner blocks the bike path.
5️⃣ problem solved! SUCCESS!

via https://nitter.fdn.fr/SecretCoAuthor/status/1392571543495061505#m

#fahrrad #cycling @mastobikes @mastobikes_de

i once hired a girl at my bakery who had no resume, but she did gift me a shiny rock she found on the ground while walking over for her interview, because she said i seemed like the kind of person that likes shiny rocks. she may have been the best employee i ever had.

wow

Synth anime soundtrack that sounds like an 00's console game. ​

https://youtube.com/watch?v=-u2SUiwsFyc

Things that are EXTREMELY my shit: this adorable form

true story: my wife-to-be gave me this form to finish filling out, long before we started dating. I still have it in a drawer somewhere.

Normalize piecemeal relationship building!!

Can't think of a better analogy

I assumed that if GPT-3 generated pickup lines, they would be terrible because they would be something like human pickup lines. Instead, they are terrible for more delightful reasons.
https://janellecshane.substack.com/p/gpt-3-tries-pickup-lines?r=1lic4&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&utm_source=copy